Paintball is a wonderfully frustrating game...

I started playing paintball in the Fall of 1984, when my father took me along for a game. I really liked it, even though the first time I was shot it was in the mouth. I played for several years after that first game. I was even part of a team for a while in the early days.

I played even after I joined the Air Force in October of 1988. While stationed at FE Warren AFB, I took a bunch of friends to a field in Conifer, CO. I had never been to that field, but I didn't worry about that, because I had always had good experiences with paintball. Sure I had run into cheaters before, but I never really had that much trouble with them. At this field however, I found out once we got there, that they didn't allow headshots. I thought that was just fine, as I never really gunned for anybody's head before.

I didn't realize that this kind of rule was actually counter productive. All anybody did was stick their head out from their hiding spot. Most of the time you only had a head to shoot at. That wasn't even the worst part of the day. The worst part was the field owner/operators were complete assholes. It was without a doubt the single worst experience I've ever had on a paintball field. That's when I gave up playing, the Spring of 1990.

That is until I ended up getting an internship at Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory in the Summer of 2002. I found out that there was a field about 15 minutes away from where I was staying. I decided to check it out. I drove down there to look around and see how they ran the field. I was impressed, and I felt like the people there were commited to keeping the game fun. So I arranged a time for a few of us to go play, and I fell in love again. I ended up looking for a new (to me) marker. I got a Spyder off of eBay, did a few repairs and I was ready to go.

When I visited home in the middle of the internship, I packed up my old markers and sent them to the house I was staying at for the Summer. I was originally going to sell them, but I soon found out that I was not going to get anything near what they are worth to me, so I decided to hang on to them and use them on occasion. They are a Nelspot 007, and a Bushmaster SI that I bought after joining the AF in 1988. I continue to use the Bushmaster on a regular basis, and the Nelspot on occasion.

Well, after that internship, I found myself wanting to continue playing. After graduating from CSU and getting a job in my chosen industry, I was able to start playing again. I played a scenario game at a local field. It was close to what I remembered. It was fun, in the woods and it was friendly competition. I thought I found my 'home.'

In the years since; I joined a team, Oddball's Heroes, left that team for reasons of integrity, and joined another team, Black Light Company. I have played in 2 24 hour scenarios, reffed speedball and scenario games, I've even coordinated scenario games. And I've become disallusioned again. I've seen cheating, extreme competativeness and anger to the point of near violence. I'm just about ready to quit the game again. I would like to believe that there are enough good people playing the game to change it for the better. Back to what it used to be, fun competition. Unfortunately, I'm beginning to feel that the idiots greatly outnumber the good guys.

This past weekend, I played in my second 24 hour scenario. There was a whole bunch of cheating going on, questionable reffing, vandalism and me ready to lose it. Cheaters take the fun out of the game, and I hate them for it. The really crappy part is that teams I had previously respected, were some of the most guilty parties. I had even been accused of overshooting, which I don't do, period. I will not EVER do anything that would tick me off, if I saw someone else doing it. Being accused of cheating probably hurt me as mush as anything else. I'm ready to quit again.

Maybe some of it has to do with the fact that I sprained my ankle. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I am going through withdrawal from Zoloft and my emotions are near out of control. Whatever it is, I'm just really pissed off, and I'm ready to just chuck the whole damn thing.

I keep hearing and reading how woodsballer and scenario players have more integrity and are much more 'honorable.' I'm finding myself saying that there aren't enough honorable players to make up for the jerks anymore. What is it going to take to make the game fun again?

The thing that is making all of this worse is the fact that my oldest daughter wants to start playing next year. I'd love to get a chance to play alongside her. But not if it means exposing her to that kind of play. It's just too damn confusing.